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To Feel Alive Ch 7 Fucking Loser Eating Lunch Alone
Ryuk Light flirty
A/N: This is a Death Note Ryuk/Light fanfic. I don't own Death Note.


The lunch bell rang and Light made his way to the cafeteria in the company of his invisible friend after retrieving his simple sack lunch from his locker—just a ham sandwich, muffin, and chips. Well, his mom had packed an apple as well but Light knew from the start he wouldn’t be the one eating it.

“You don’t want to sit with them?” Ryuk asked curiously as the teen picked an unoccupied, out of the way table far away from the other students that were filing in.

The teen unconsciously looked down his nose at his chittering classmates as he unwrapped his sandwich. “Just look at them, Ryuk,” the teen hissed annoyed at the idiocy of his classmates. “Does that look like fun to you?”


“All they ever want to do is play those stupid cards.”

“Oh. Oh! I get it. Right. I know how that is. I mean, I know a couple of guys back in the Shinigami realm that have a card game going for the last thousand years.”

“That’s what Shinigami do with eternity?!” the boy crinkled his nose in obvious disgust. Here were these powerful immortal beings, true Gods even if they were Gods of Death, they all had Death Notes, they could be doing something useful like helping to improve their world or striking down the wicked but instead they decided to waste infinite time playing cards?!

“Pretty much, yeah. I mean a card game or two can be fun on occasion but to do it forever? Yeah. I think I’ll pass.”

 “Never introduce them to… “ Light stopped mid-sentence and was suddenly sporting that calculating look he always seemed to get when he was planning something particularly nefarious. “…On second thought perhaps we should introduce them to Pokémon—that way they’ll take the stupid cards off of my world and the Shinigami will play something different for a change—see? It’s a win-win for everyone.”

“I’m not so sure about that. I mean, what about the kids who lost their cards? And it doesn’t really address the issue of the Shinigami being boring…”

PikaCHUUUUUUUU!” hollered Taro from across the room.

A win-win for everyone.” Light insisted, his right eyebrow twitching slightly at the background chorus of “Pika!Pika! Pika!

It was beyond annoying to Light that he was regarded as being on the same level as them—those stupid, useless, immature fools. The teen genius recalled reading about how other countries allowed prodigies such as himself to skip a grade… or several, but not Japan. Light had always figured it was just another sacrifice he had to make for the good of everyone. It was grating, though, and oh so boring—before finding the Death Note and Ryuk Light had felt like he was dying inside a slow and lingering death though Light supposed it hadn’t bothered him much at the time seeing as he had been so miserable he hadn’t even taken the time to ponder the source of his misery. But really it had all gone downhill since he’d been forced by his parents to quit tennis to “concentrate on his studies.” Whenever he asked for something to challenge himself he was told he was being arrogant or presumptuous, that he was too young, that he wasn’t ready and he started to wonder; what if he really wasn’t good enough? What if there was something wrong with him? What if he truly did belong in this Hell? These thoughts had festered inside like a cancer.

But now things were looking up—ever since finding the Death Note everything had become so clear. He understood now—he wasn’t wrong, it was the world. Before he was powerless but now he had the power—he would change and shape this world and truly make it a better place. Things were looking up for him—despite, no because he’d become Kira his life had a purpose now, and even though his new “roommate” could be a bit… unnerving and embarrassing at times, Ryuk was still amusing to have around. Honestly he’d never felt so alive—the irony was not lost on Light. Nor was it lost on him that now that things were looking up, he could concentrate on the things in his own life that well and truly annoyed him.

As to his classmates… well, they weren’t all bad people, mostly. It’s just… there just wasn’t anyone on his level… but he was fine with that. He’d come to terms with that long ago. He wasn’t looking for an equal playmate because as far as Light was concerned such an intellect did not exist. There was no intelligent life here. If, hypothetically, he ever did find such a nonexistent intellectual equal it would probably only serve to infuriate him now. Light shuddered at the very thought that another like him could exist—it would be a threat to his sense of self, to his identity as Kira, and to his continued existence  seeing as anyone who truly was as clever as he would be intelligent enough to figure out all his secrets and expose him. Maybe when he was younger, around five or six and looking at those laughing, stupid groups of his peers with longing, he would have tolerated another on his intellectual level but now, most certainly now that he was Kira that was an impossibility—but even before finding the notebook and his destiny he’d already known he was that much further above the rest of humanity.

Only one God could reign over this world.

No, Light Yagami was just fine living without an equal. Light was unique and special and he liked it that way. No, what he wanted was someone with the patience to listen to what he had to say, to admire and acknowledge his brilliance, to tell him just how interesting and wonderful he knew he was, someone he could feel superior to without boring him, someone to affirm and praise his cleverness and give it meaning… someone like Ryuk.  Light’s thought process skidded to a screeching halt. Did he truly consider the Shinigami to be his closest… friend?

Yes, actually, and now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense... Light recalled how much more difficult his righteous mission had been before he’d gained Ryuk as his audience and confidant and nearly shuddered as he remembered all those times he’d felt like he couldn’t go on and had seriously considered writing his own in the notebook. Oh, he could keep killing without Ryuk’s cheerleading, there was no doubt about that—it just would have been that much harder and the stress probably would have driven him mad…

Light couldn’t help but find the Shinigami interesting, even aside from his (unfortunate) attraction to the Death God (well everything but his face). Really, how could he not be interested? After all, Ryuk was an intellect (however paltry) from a whole other world. Ryuk knew things far beyond human experience. Light was sure that what the Shinigami had told him so far just scratched the surface of the things that he knew. Ryuk obviously didn’t think much of the Shinigami world but Light was still curious about the world that was the source of his power as Kira. Even if it was every bit as boring as Ryuk had described it, it was a different kind of boring from that which the teen was used to. Light mused that it was probably the same for Ryuk and why the Shinigami had so far put up with things like being stuck in Light’s boring classes.

Across the room the noise level of the other students rose again and Light shifted around uncomfortably on the plain metal seat of the lunchroom table. For some reason their tittering was really grating on his nerves today. Perhaps it was due to the fact he still hadn’t yet completely overcome the migraine headaches that periodically accompanied his caffeine withdrawals.

“Some days I hate having to even see these assholes…” Light muttered to himself.

“You know if you don’t want to see them you could always take it under the table,” his Shinigami suggested.
Ryuk had thought his solution was reasonable enough but for some reason his human appeared visibly flustered by his perfectly innocent suggestion, nearly choking on his bite of sandwich.

“Excuse me?!” the teen hissed and Ryuk wondered if he’d somehow managed to find his way into another verbal trap or cultural faux pas.

“What? There’s lots of room under there—you could eat your lunch down there and never have to see them. Problem solved.”

“Yes, I suppose that would be a viable solution to ‘not seeing them’” Light granted his overly literal companion. “Except that that would look too much like running away from them.”

“But isn’t sitting over here kind of like running away from them?” Ryuk pointed out and Light sent him another of his stunning death glares.

“No. This is a matter of personal choice. I could sit with them if I wanted to. I don’t.”

“Then why don’t you? They’re not all playing cards, you know. I bet you could find someone to talk to…”

Light actually looked pained at the Shinigami’s suggestion. “No, Ryuk. I think not. They are all just all so stupid and they… annoy me… Also having to forever listen to the puns involving my name gets well and truly tiring,” Light confided to his only confidant. There were enough puns to be made in Japanese and the fact that the way his name was spelled it resembled the girl’s name Tsuki but things really took a turn for the worse once his classmates began to learn a bit of English...

Light startled when Ryuk sat down next to him, a bead of sweat trickled down the side of his face as he got several odd looks when the rickety lunchroom table creaked and shifted under the Shinigami’s weight.

“Do you want another hug?”

Light turned to glare daggers at the Shinigami, positioning his hands and the remains of his sandwich to hide the lower half of his face from prying eyes as hissed out a stern answer of “No.”

Across the lunchroom the students laughed again and in his paranoia Light couldn’t help but feel that for some reason, they were all laughing at him.

Criminals first, Light reminded himself, I’ll work my way down…

Light tried not to twinge again at another explosion of raucous laughter. It was probably just from the creaking of lunchroom table—they were so infantile, the most trivial of things would set them off.

“Those miserable fools,” Kira muttered to himself.

“It sounds like someone needs a hug.”

Light’s eyebrow ticked. “I already told you, Ryuk…”

“Yes, I know you said I shouldn’t touch you in class but we’re not in class.”

“That’s not what I…”

“And this is not exactly public—you’re sitting here all alone…”

“Why the hell would I want to join them anyway? They’re all idiots!” Light hissed.

“Is that the only reason?”

“Okay, they’re all assholes and idiots.”

“Yeah, definitely needs a hug.”

“Ryuk…” Light snapped sharply, his eyes flashing in anger.  Regardless of how Ryuk would tell it later, Light would insist he most definitely didn’t squeak when the monster wrapped his long arms all around him again.

“Hug!” The Shinigami declared cheerfully.

 “Idiot,” Light muttered, well-aware of the way his cheeks were burning as his Shinigami nuzzled against him.

Ugh! Who would have thought a Shinigami would turn into such a… cuddle-monster!

To his chagrin and against all logic he immediately found himself unconsciously relaxing again as the monster cuddled up against him.

Dammit! Why do I even like this? And with Ryuk of all… people?!

“It’s okay, Light. I understand how it is. How did that human saying go? The wolf does not make easy friends with the sheep?” Ryuk rumbled in his ear; the sound of Ryuk’s voice and his proximity making the boy’s heart racing.

 “Ryuk…” Light hissed again, or tried to, his voice cracking so it came out in an almost whine as he was trapped once again in the vice-like grip of the Shinigami’s long, strong arms.

“Shhh. It’s okay, Light. I’ll take care of you.” The God of Death insisted and Light was left blinking in confusion. Wasn’t Ryuk supposed to be a Shinigami! Why was he being so damned… nice?!

Well that should be obvious, he wants into my pants. But what if…? Could it be that Ryuk genuinely cares? If such an offer is sincere… I really should, no I have to consider it, if only from a tactical point of view.

Light supposed that was all well and good that Ryuk might potentially be willing to help him but that didn’t resolve the more immediate issues… The teen was well-aware of the eyes of his classmates who no doubt saw him sitting there alone, looking so… uncomfortable. They probably saw him cringing and occasionally muttering to himself.

This isn’t good at all! A show of weakness in front of his classmates—he might as well take up cutting while swimming in shark-infested waters.

Speaking of sharks…

Light couldn’t help but eye that smiling mouth of razor sharp fangs most warily as Ryuk again took to resting his chin against Light’s shoulder. An odd noise welled up from the Shinigami’s throat—it was not quite a growl, and as far as Light could tell held no such malicious intent, in fact the brunet found the deep vibrations to be rather soothing as Ryuk continued to press against him.

“Besides, you don’t need them—you’ll always have me!”

“Lucky me,” Light muttered.

“Yep!” Ryuk said cheerfully, missing the sarcasm entirely as he snuggled against his irritated captive human.

Light felt the heat rising in his face once again because he really did like being held by the big, strong monster—even though he knew he shouldn’t. It was nice and unlike his previous… sexual experiences being held by Ryuk… it actually felt safe.

Dammit, he’s a Shinigami! Have I gone utterly insane?! Light’s thoughts raced in horrified confusion.

Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, he finally convinced Ryuk (in angry, hushed tones that no doubt would only add fuel for the fire ignited by those stupid gossipy morons who had nothing better to do) to let him go when he pointed out that Yamamoto was coming his way. Light pretended not to see Yamamoto as he threw out his lunch trash and left the cafeteria—all dignity and grace and most definitely not crazy.

Ryuk had understood the pain and regret in his human’s eyes when he let go. The Shinigami could have rejoiced out loud, Light really did want to play with him and he really did like his hugging him even though he pretended not to.  Light pretended that he didn’t need anyone but in truth he was alone, just like Ryuk was. It seemed his human was starved for genuine care and understanding and that he wanted what the Shinigami was offering—craved it, needed it. Ryuk resolved to treat Light with care. He wouldn’t break him and he wouldn’t hurt him like the other humans had.

Ryuk also vowed that Light would be getting many more hugs in the future.


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Ryuk is such a sweetheart, wanting to take care of Light like that.

i re read the hell out of this , its so cute .

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